Welcome to Big Liberty’s first Fatshion Friday!
So let’s get right into it, shall we? Because I have stumbled across some truly trying fatshion horrors and truly tremendous fatshion fancies to share with you all.
First, let’s enumerate what I typically consider a “Fatshion Horror”:
- Sack-like, shapeless garment. Esp. if sacks aren’t in season.
- Anything specifically constructed/worn in order to cover up ‘problem areas’
- Loud, crazy prints that look either like grandma’s wallpaper or an elephant painted them
- Pointless clothing. This includes pointless ruffles, beading, etc meant to ‘trick’ the eye away from ‘problem areas’
- Terrible materials in an otherwise nice-looking piece (read: most of Igigi’s dresses)
Winner of the Week
The above dress hits points 1, 2, and 3 nicely. You have the obvious sack-like nature of the garment, pointless and unshapely sleeves, and a ridiculous print that, if ever in fashion, wasn’t in fashion anywhere close to this decade.
Sometimes the Goddess Toga style can look good. Sometimes it just looks like you forgot to attach the other strap. To me, it all comes down to proper draping. Apparently the designers at Avenue disagree, having pumped out this monstrosity.
A couple points on this one. First — HOLY PURPLE, BATMAN! Second — where the hell are the rest of the sleeves? I’ve heard of 3/4 sleeves, but 7/8 sleeves? Third — is a ‘front V’ part on the skirt EVER attractive? Fourth — BLINDED BY PURPLE! Fifth — is this supposed to be clothing for someone around the age of the model and, truly, under the age of 85? Because the last time I saw that gauzy beaded sack design work was on a flapper, and that was closing in on 100 years ago, my friend. Sixth — I ATED THE PURPLE BERRIES! UGHHH…TASTES LIKE….BURNING…!
Winner of the Week
Okay, I’m just going to wipe that drool puddle off the floor…just hang on a sec…there we go. So this dress makes me tingle largely because of its brilliant silhouette. For a pear like me, you just can’t get better than a fitted bust and a tiered flow from there on down. The halter is a nice touch as well.
Hai Avenue? Make mor of the abuv, plz.
What do I like about this black, lacy, zip-up vest? Well, it’s black—and lacy—and zip-up. What could stand to be improved? I’d prefer a silver zipper rather than gold. To me black lace and gold don’t go together (except in 1991).
Oh, hai corset. I think I’m in love. Uh, with the corset of course, not the lady! (okay, a little bit with the lady…getting a strong Christine Daae vibe, rowr) Goes up to 48D. I don’t really know how to purchase corsets…do you just purchase your bra size? I’d love to try this puppy out.